just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
