Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.

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(937): View more from Ohio

they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"

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(440): View more from Ohio

She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!

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(303): View more from Colorado

His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it

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(323): View more from California

I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How is it??

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.

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