Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We are two peas in an std pod
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize