Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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