The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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