none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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