we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
