Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
