btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
