Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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