Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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