Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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