My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize