I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
