I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
