I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize