u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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