Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
