worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
