i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
