He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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