5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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