I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Your penis caused this!
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