it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize