She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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