Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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