why didn't you poke me back
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
