I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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