Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
