ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
