Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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