I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
