i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
