Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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