Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just cropdusted the office
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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