your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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