i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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