I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
