its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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