we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
