You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize