There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
