people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
