my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
