some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
