Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize