What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
