i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
