I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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