Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
