sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
