You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
