So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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