Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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