My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
