Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
