I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
be right there i have to get my cape
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
