I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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