with your own penis?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
