is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
