just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
