I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
