I'm laying in your front yard are you home
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
