Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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