Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
