So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
