Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
