She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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