It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
