no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
