Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
