I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
