dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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