i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
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