Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
