I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
